I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
please come you make the beer taste better
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
