i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I smell like Dick and happiness
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
