Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
