Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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