i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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