How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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