Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
