let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my sisters under your porch take her home
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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