i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
