i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize