Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Boobs are out for the taking
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
