I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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