He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
