I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
