We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's shark week go big or go home
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
