Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
