What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
