He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize