Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
