the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
