so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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