Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So much Jack, so little girl.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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