maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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