i think my mom watched the whole time
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
