omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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