I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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