it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
