I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
