She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
