The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
