im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
