I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
