Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
