i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
