What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
