cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
