I'm really into asian looking animals
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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