I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I currently don't understand fingers.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
