btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
