I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
