We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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