problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
