i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
