so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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