she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
