you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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