There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
