I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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