Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
