yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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