I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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