the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
