if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
